Monday, July 12, 2010

Freudian Spellchecker

The Freudian Spellchecker--both name and concept--was born when I first came across "mother load" in writing. Its entries are always spelled correctly because spellcheckers make it so. The sense, on the other hand, is always just a little bit twisted, thanks to the workings of the minds of the people who wrote them. Comments and (most especially) additions are welcome.

mother load

genitally altered food

Dying from smoke installation

The underlining problem

A hallow victory

Tuba toothpaste

Tension span (variant spelling: intention span)

Same few people bittering (instead of "bickering")

Stare-crazy

No rest for the wary

Looked at him all google-eyed

Buttoning down the hatches

An exercise in fertility

We need an escape goat

Guide gods

A left-hander has a greater chance of being wounded in the heart during various kinds of physical alterations*

*what makes this doubly amusing is that it was contributed by a transgendered person

Gave [someone] free reign

A two-prawn approach

He won't last, he's just a flash in the pants

Our company is like a living orgasm

I was a shoe-in to qualify for Mensa

What we need is a central suppository for data

Don't change hearses in midstream

It's not rocking science

We need some kids' music that isn't wretch-inducing

Eligible for the excellerated classes

Paralyzed from the waste down

Designed to please a young person's palette

That's the flaw in the ointment

Glad to see you wizening up

Sockpiled

Whithering away

My curiosity is aroused

Flag-waiving

Regardez view

Torn in the side

Pass mustard

Indicted in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame

Illicit responses (instead of "elicit")

I shutter to think....

Fuses new life

Do I have the right to tell you how many children to bare?

breaking into a cantor

peach and quiet

silver plaited serving dish

Attending were Peter and quest

death-throws

pour over the facts

Have Super Bowl commercials lost their cache?

hairy chestnut

behavior mortification

the dye is cast

osculating fan

crowing achievement

long winding reports

Red Bull helps with memory laps

in grade school, some boys view girls as having cuties

all intensive purposes

To the extent you believe there exists a political machine, the only saving grace is that power is still somewhat disbursed.

I was about to blow a casket

viscous rumor

you are all in bed with a rouge elephant

non-pulsed

deep seeded obsession

waive the white flag